(this blog is my opinion and my opinion alone. i am not forcing my opinion on anyone, and i do not care if someone agrees or disagrees with me. also, i'm not saying this goes for every family. i'm simply talking about the exceptional situation. thank you.)

i'm not sure if you noticed, but there needs to be a lot more then love for a family to survive.

there's this girl on facebook. i could have argued with her about this, but i didnt. she is a stranger and obviously fucking dumb, not to mention inexperienced and overly optimistic.

one of the biggest current media stories is the divorce announced between John and Kate Gosselin, the famed parents of the John and Kate Plus 8 TV show. they became famous for exposing themselves, their eight children, and their private life to the public. undoubtedly contributing to the final decision, the recent media hype/ total bashing of the family led this married couple, whose marriage (in the end) was only tied together by the cameras in their house, to file for divorce. it's a tragedy, no doubt, but i truly believe what lies in their family is their business and their business alone. this blog is not to bash them, but to make another point.

moving on, i commented about this decision on facebook, how i felt the children will suffer do to this decision. i really believe those kids needs two stable parents in their lives, especially NOW with all this media attention. but no. this fucking dumbass, who disagreed with my statement, kept responding, "all you need is love," meaning all you need is love in order to be happy, be stable, be unmarred from a parent's decisions.

okay, how do i feel about this?

her answer is obviously very jaded. i'm not sure if she is being forcefully optimistic or has yet to see any tragedy in her life, or has not witness family struggles, but there needs to be a LOT more then love in order for a family to survive. i know that for a fact.

my parents, for example. they are more best friends then husband and wife, but undoubtedly love one another and us - their family was always their first priority. when our family hit rough patches i'm not ashamed to say things got shaky. of course my parents still loved one another and us, even though that feeling was in turmoil; they just didnt know where to turn in life. their were fights and sacrifices, and lot of nasty words were spewed.

was love keeping them together? i'm not so sure. there are things that can be considered more important then love, like survival and personal satisfaction.

obviously, people get married because they love one another. i don't deny that, not at all. but why don't they stay together? maybe their selfish, or realized it's tough to share your life completely with one another. maybe it's status. maybe they realized married life isnt for them, after all...or maybe their just tired, and want the pain to stop.

if all you need is love, then there would be very little divorced couples or annulled marriages. everyone would be happy and optimistic. families would be perfect, and we would all be signing beatle songs.

John and Kate mentioned they believe this is what's best for their kids. if all you need is love for a marriage to survive, then one would think the marriage would stay together after voicing this decision, not drift apart. their love is what's separating them, which is an oxymoron at best. how can you say to a child, "oh, your father and i are not living together anymore because we love you" ?


keeping a family together is not just about love; it's about companionship, trust, loyalty, fun, strife, making sacrifices, communication, dealing with the good and the bad, and all those overly cliche but true things under the rainbow. those things all stem from love, sure, but love stems from those things as well. it goes both ways.

although John and Kate's decision is questionable, it's their family and their business. but do you really think love is the only factor needed for a family to survive?

i guess the real question is: can two separated parents lovingly raise their eight children without having any one of them scarred for life? without having something fall short, or without questions, or without guilt or blame or tears or fights? can love really stand up to all of this turmoil and ultimately prosper?

from my experiences the answer is unfavorable. but maybe the odds can be defied. just maybe.